My new plan is to kidnap a Pittsburgh city bus, paint it black, and drive it around the city like a silent wind, picking up beleaguered citizens stranded at bus stops, and taking them to their far-off destinations in the blink of an eye. And when they try to pay me, I will laugh my booming hero laugh and say, “No no, citizen, tis all in a days work!” And then I’d ride off into the sunset, and the world would rest safely in the knowledge that whenever the Port Authority drops the fucking ball, the BUS THAT ACTUALLY SHOWS UP ON TIME will save the day!

Brought to you by my waiting in the cold cold cold for a bus that eventually showed up forty-five minutes late.

…why do they even *have* schedules?

thanks to flickr user linkzilla for the cc-licensed source image. the original photo is linked above.